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All honeymoons end. Some honeymoons end on the honeymoon! In the language of today’s Gospel, “the wine runs out...”
This rather downbeat message is what the church tells couples preparing for married life. Yes, the wine of our first love, a strong beautiful love based on eros and desire, on our good will and generosity, can run out. It does not last.
You can then end up with “water”, gallons of it. Water will keep you alive, but it will not make your eyes sparkle. For that you need wine. The good news is that this water can be changed into wine, new wine, much better than the first wine.
The sign that this water is being changed into new wine is that you become vulnerable. Love makes you vulnerable. When you start to feel really loved by another, you do not have to be self-protective. Your defences start to relax. You are free to be yourself. All of yourself.
What happens then? Your nice side begins to crack and the dark side of your personality emerges, the shadowy, secret side, that until now you have kept in check, for fear of being rejected. This dark side surfaces not only in your conscious, in your mind and your feelings, it also surface in your behaviour, in your actions, in what you say and do – or don’t say, and don’t do!
Then of course the rows begin, flaming rows! Then the insults start to fly and perhaps other things start to fly too! All this is called marriage! Hopefully your wife or your husband is having a similar experience. A couple are called to process each other’s dark side. When they persevere in doing this, then the water will be turned into wine.
The preparation for marriage course which began in our parish last Thursday continues this week, Thursday at 8pm in the crypt. All couples seriously contemplating marriage, all engaged couples and recently married couples are invited. |
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